The Dirty Little Secret of Weight Loss

A couple of years ago, a book came out called "The Secret". If you haven't read it and don't want to know what the "secret" is, skip down to the next paragraph. The secret can be summed up as this: to become the person you want to be, surround yourself with those types of people. You want to be fit and sexy? Hang around with fit and sexy people. Rich? Hang around with wealthy people. Spiritual? You get the idea....

There's an insidious, dirty little secret about weight loss and it's one no one talks about. Sure, everyone talks about the obvious things: you'll be healthier, your clothes will fit better, you'll have more energy, you'll have more confidence, etc, etc. All of these are true, but they usually don't make an emotional impact with people trying to lose weight, because that's what *everybody* says - hearing the same thing over and over, no matter how positive and uplifting, makes anything lose its emotional impact after a while (anyone whose told a child over and over to make their bed or clean their room knows what I'm talking about).

But there is one thing nobody says about weight loss that everybody knows to be true: people treat you differently when you're fat. "Wow, no shit" you might be saying to yourself, but I'm not talking about the surface, I'm-less-likely-to-ask-that-person-out way of treating someone different. In fact, I'm not talking about sexual attraction at all - I'm talking about a fundamental way of interacting with other human beings who are overweight. Take a look at some truly, truly horrible people: Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. Would *anyone* put up with the crap they inflict on the world if they didn't look they way they did? Would someone like Abraham Lincoln (not fat, but truly one of the ugliest men in all of world history) have even the slightest chance of rising to any sort of meaningful public office today?

The TV show Dateline did an experiment a couple of years ago where they sent two women in for a job interview for a bank manager position. One was frumpy, but had much better experience and qualifications; the other was fit and more attractive, but much less qualified. The hiring manager (a man), talked about how hard the job would be to the frumpy woman and what a great addition to the office she would be to the fit woman.

Again, you're probably thinking, "No shit - men are pigs". Would it surprise you to note that they did the exact same experiment with a woman hiring manager and got the same results? Here's the part of the story that really made an emotional impact for me - when they interviewed the male hiring manager later on, he didn't try to make excuses or blow off the whole thing as an aberration - he easily could have been a jerk and said, oh well, that's just the "way of the world". But his reaction stunned me - he was truly horrified at his own behavior. He watched the (concealed) videotape and listened to his own words and you could see the look in his eyes and actually feel his pain. He was truly ashamed at what he had done.

What does this tell me? It is so ingrained in our DNA to treat overweight people as "lesser" people, no amount of "education" or pleas for compassion and understanding will *ever* change that. It's a harsh sentiment, but the only way out of it is to leave the overweight tribe. The dirty little secret can be summed up as thus:

You may think it will only affect your romantic life, but your interactions with other people - ON EVERY LEVEL - will dramatically improve when you lose weight.

Ear fatigue. It sounds like a made up thing, but it's real. It's often experienced by musicians or those working in music studios. It's the condition of losing one's ability to distinguish subtle differences in music after listening to the same music (or type of music) for extended periods of time. In that vein, I decided to take a break from the high-energy, heart-pumping music I've been listening to my last set of workouts and switch to a "mellow mix" for today's workout. First, the numbers:

Time: 78 minutes (30% increase to help burn off the Chicken McNuggets I had yesterday)

Distance: 4.56 miles

Avg Heart Rate: 126 BPM

Calories burned: 871

Speed: 3.6 mph

Incline: 4.5 %

Tuesday's Gone - Lynyrd Skynyrd

It's tough to find artists today with the range to write boot-stompers like "Saturday Night Special" and "The Needle and the Spoon" and tender songs like this one. Namesake (Leonard Skinner, their high-school gym teacher) just died a few months ago.

Ordinary Miracle - Fisher

Beautiful cover version of Sarah McLaughin's original. Featured in a pharmacy commercial here in the US.

Dimming Of The Day - Five Blind Boys Of Alabama

Another cover version; this time of the insanely great (and also insanely ignored) Richard Thompson. Gives new meaning to the work "haunting".

Over and Over - Fleetwood Mac

The best make out song ever. And speaking of making out, who the came came up with the term "heavy petting"? Worst term for sex, EVER! Sounds like something your vet has to do every couple of months.

This Heart - Nanci Griffith

Folk cutie gets Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton from U2 to lay down the groove.

The Air That I Breathe - Hollies

Oh my God! - syrupy strings, groan-inducing lyrics, grossly overproduced glop. Mix all ingredients = freaking awesome. Fuck you, I can't explain it.

Copperline - James Taylor

JT is still good for one great song every album. (Do they still say "album" anymore?)

Vincent - Don McLean

You might know this as "Starry, Starry Night". Heartbreaking song about Vincent Van Gogh. Reading his biography is an exercise in pain and misery.

Long As I Can See The Light - CCR

Creedence once released three albums in a 12 month period - can you imagine any artist doing that today?

Cello Song - Nick Drake

Let me be clear: Nick Drake was a God. If you've never heard of him, you may know him from the Pink Moon Volkswagon commercials (in the US anyway) from a few years ago. He recorded 3 albums and then dropped dead of a heart attack (possibly drug induced) at 26. Gives new meaning to the phrase "achingly beautiful".

Love In Store - Fleetwood Mac

The magic was gone after "Tusk", but the Mac still had a few good songs left in them in the 80s.

Give Me Love (Live) - George Harrison

Yoko gets most of the blame for the Beatles not getting back together in the '70s (and she deserves some of it), but George did a lot to make sure it never happened, too. This one was from his tribute concert. The love shown to his songs by his fellow musicians is remarkable.

Casey Jones - Grateful Dead

Is there a song that better personifies the late 60s-San Francisco-drug culture than this? I think not.

Save Me - k.d. lang

Second best make out song ever (see "Over and Over" above)

Blue - Jayhawks

I had never heard of them before this song (or since). Never has two-part harmony sounded so wonderful.

Is This Love - Bob Marley

"Over and Over" from the male point of view.

Holding Back The Years - Simply Red

Quite simply, the saddest song ever. Close second: The Band - It Makes No Difference

Purple Heather - Van Morrison

Everyone knows Moondance and Brown Eyed Girl, but Van has created so many jaw-droppingly great songs over the years, it's a crime more people don't know about them. This gem is a re-write of an old Irish folk ballad called "Wild Mountain Thyme". The album this is off of (Hard Nose The Highway) is out of print - just about the only place you can hear it is here.

Sullivan Street - Counting Crows

An artist's debut album is usually one of two things: polished and great because they've been performing their set of songs and refining them for a long time (think The Cars debut album) or they're a work-in-progress because they don't have their songwriting chops down yet (think the Eagles first three albums). The Crows fall into the former category - August and Everything After is uniformly great from beginning to end and this song is the apex of yearning.